What's wrong with this picture?

Answer: 332 patches of blue and purple.

A few days have passed since the 'historic' election win for the Conservatives and it still conjures up exasperated feelings just looking at said picture of wrong. The lamentable outcome necessitates much needed soul searching for Labour and Lib Dems as the Cons secured enough votes to win an outright majority of seats in parliament. This despite having overseen a government that introduced a feast of austerity measures that ripped up public services as we know them and disproportionally affected the lower reaches of the socioeconomic ladder. Maybe we're a nation of gluttonous masochists. Marquis de Sade would've had a field day.

There are all manners of cries of "the majority of people didn't vote Conservative" doing the rounds on social media. Whilst factually correct, a large chunk of the 67% who didn't vote blue chose not to exercise their democratic voice at all and had more of them done so a sizeable portion would've banked on Cameron anyway. Besides, the electoral system isn't built on proportional representation so that particular sentiment, whilst totally understandable, is void. 

The stark reality is that around 15 million people, or more or less half of all participating voters, opted to vote for a right wing party. Getting to grips with the reasons why this happened and producing an effective strategy for convincing a few million of those that there's a credible alternative is the key for the opposition parties over the next 5 years. Failure to do so condemns us all to years of life in Hades and I for one do not find pain and suffering pleasurable. 

As much as I hate to admit, the Cons, backed by the vitriolic right wing press, got their election campaign spot on. It's no mean feat to successfully throw their coalition partner under a bus so massive that it would have fit all dirty rotten scoundrels (benefits claimants and/or immigrants) currently having the cheek to reside in the UK and come out smelling of roses. Equally, to manage to deploy a rhetoric that has people believing that Scotland is the enemy, a Labour government will cause a global economic crisis and wealth creation is somehow achievable for all, hats off. I feel sorry for the partly self inflicted demise of the Lib Dems as all the indications of life under a majority Con government highlight the neutralising impact they had on the coalition. Cue EU referendum, snoopers charter and scrapping the 'madness' that is the Human Rights Act.

More than ever it seems the country is polarised ideologically. Half of Scotland clearly want out of the Union. People in major cities believe in a fairer society. People everywhere else have a fetish for traditional British values. People in major cities want to protect public services. People everywhere else wanks to border control.

Whether we support it or oppose it, we're stuck with a Government that promotes greed, selfishness and ruthlessness. History shows us that this has been the case more often than not over the last century so in a way the election result should come as no surprise. Cameron pledged to make Britain great again. It's our responsibility to show the bell end cretin that it's us, the diverse, multicultural, complex, joyous, fucked up population that makes Britain great. I've done my bit by rejecting capitalism since the election, despite the pull of 60% off skinny jeans at Asos. Irreverence light. It's a struggle but someone's gotta do it. For queen and country!

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