A disastrous 6 months

 

The other day marked the halfway point of my spending chronicle. 6 months in already, time flies when you're being a disaster. Disasters have more fun. Disaster is the new black. Don't know about anyone else but I've not had a shabby 6 months at all, bereavement aside. Been to Sweden three times, South Korea once, London five, celebrated a birthday, consumed copious amounts of food, copiouser still amounts of alcoholic beverages, been to the cinema 22 times, got myself BT Sport at home, and of course spent a fair chunk of money on material things. Time to take stock therefore. What kind of disaster am I? A minor mishap or full blown calamity?

In total I've spent 2290 pounds and 62 pence on stuff that some might argue (unsuccessfully) superfluous. That equates to £381.77 per month which I think is fairly reasonable. Go go minor mishaps! 6 monthly reports call for a graph of course:

So far so good. On closer inspection however, it appears I've bought 45 items of clothing and 9 pairs of shoes. At this rate I might break triple figures by the end of the 12 months of blogging. That's probably quite a lot of clothes. And shoes. Epic force majeure! Although come to think of it, almost all of those clothes, and definitely all the shoes, were bought in the sale so that makes it all ok. Minor mishap for real. Me 1 Buyers' remorse 0.

Buoyed by a holiday underspend and an investment windfall, I've gone on a bit of spree of late. All awfully vital purchases clearly.

 
 

A Kenwood Chef KMC010 to take care of all your baking and cooking needs. Been wanting to get my hands on one for a good, good while. It's a mechanical marvel, a home cook's wet dream. All for the price of £349. It comes packaged in the most ridiculously over-sized box so having it delivered to your work is not such a good idea. Trust me. I also grabbed the opportunity to buy a mini mill to go with it, £25 which includes 4 glass jars with lids. Soon to be filled with freshly ground coffee beans.

I'd managed to wreck the screen on my old Samsung Galaxy S5 in the space of 11 months so went out and bought the new and improved version, though not the one with a bent screen. A line has to be drawn somewhere, and it was drawn at £538. Splashed out £8.30 on a new-with-tags River Island checked shirt from eBay and £4.50 on a green knitted jumper from Topman. Come winter time you may just find me wearing both at the same time. And of course I couldn't help buying some more footwear. River Island loafers with tassles £27.50, Base boots for £20, Base brogues for £21 and Rock and Religion plimsolls for £7, all from the trusted companion that is the Asos sale.

So, 6 months worth of disastrous spending has come to an end, here's to another 6! Who knows what the future has in store? Or what stores will feature in future? All will be revealed in due time (although if you're Asos you're in with a good chance).

Random acts of kindness

The altogether depressing outcome of the general election has left many (non right wing) voters in a state of despair. A couple of weeks in and Cameron and his cronies have already let their intention be known, in case anyone had been foolish or blasé enough to disregard it during the campaign. 13 billion pounds worth of welfare cuts, EU referendum, the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership, making industrial action really rather difficult to mobilise, the next 5 years are going to be brimful of unbridled joy.

It's easy to feel a tad deflated, just like the UK economy itself, as it would suggest that for most Brits the main priority is to look after number one. Caring, compassion, community, who needs it? Thank heavens then that people are still able, willing and keen to support fellow humans in a difficult situation without hesitation and without making a big song and dance number out of it. Philanthropic donations are clearly enormously significant for the beneficiaries, and there's a distinctly humane ethos behind them, but the financial clout required for such a grand gesture is the reserve of a distinguished few. The rest donate their time, skills, expertise, enthusiasm and money, knowing full well they won't have a boulevard or hospital wing named after them, rather because they're fully committed to the cause.

My colleagues informed me that during the evening social at last weekend's Younger Women Together event in Cardiff, a fellow hotel guest got chatting to staff, volunteers and clients at the event and upon discovering that everyone there were women under 45 who had been diagnosed with breast cancer he decided to buy bottles of wine and champagne for all, without fuss and fanfare. Simply because breast cancer had affected people near to him and that was his way of showing support. Such random acts of kindness can make all the difference. Obviously a freebie makes one happy but more importantly it shows that people care. That you are not alone.

Incidentally caring and togetherness are two of Breast Cancer Care's organisational values. The only UK wide support charity for people affected by breast cancer, we provide services that inform, educate and empower, to make sure noone has to face breast cancer alone. All our services are free to access thanks to the generous donations made by individuals, groups and corporate partners. As a charity that receives very little statutory funding, random or planned acts of kindness really do make all the difference.

I've done my bit by signing up to the weekly lottery, a mere £1 per week with a top prize of 1000 every week. I've also purchased one of these nifty collapsible water bottles called Ohyo for £4.99:

Not everything has to cost money either, charities and community groups are always looking for people to donate their time, skills and experience to help deliver services or run events. For example, you can sign up to volunteer at Breast Cancer Care's Pink Ribbonwalk in Bakewell on Saturday 13 June. I have.

So I encourage everyone out there to pick a charity or two whose cause speaks to you and give a donation, do some fundraising or become a volunteer. Our volunteer manager Lisa assures me that people who volunteer live longer so not only will your random acts of kindness help others but it'll contribute to a long and prosperous life.

What's wrong with this picture?

Answer: 332 patches of blue and purple.

A few days have passed since the 'historic' election win for the Conservatives and it still conjures up exasperated feelings just looking at said picture of wrong. The lamentable outcome necessitates much needed soul searching for Labour and Lib Dems as the Cons secured enough votes to win an outright majority of seats in parliament. This despite having overseen a government that introduced a feast of austerity measures that ripped up public services as we know them and disproportionally affected the lower reaches of the socioeconomic ladder. Maybe we're a nation of gluttonous masochists. Marquis de Sade would've had a field day.

There are all manners of cries of "the majority of people didn't vote Conservative" doing the rounds on social media. Whilst factually correct, a large chunk of the 67% who didn't vote blue chose not to exercise their democratic voice at all and had more of them done so a sizeable portion would've banked on Cameron anyway. Besides, the electoral system isn't built on proportional representation so that particular sentiment, whilst totally understandable, is void. 

The stark reality is that around 15 million people, or more or less half of all participating voters, opted to vote for a right wing party. Getting to grips with the reasons why this happened and producing an effective strategy for convincing a few million of those that there's a credible alternative is the key for the opposition parties over the next 5 years. Failure to do so condemns us all to years of life in Hades and I for one do not find pain and suffering pleasurable. 

As much as I hate to admit, the Cons, backed by the vitriolic right wing press, got their election campaign spot on. It's no mean feat to successfully throw their coalition partner under a bus so massive that it would have fit all dirty rotten scoundrels (benefits claimants and/or immigrants) currently having the cheek to reside in the UK and come out smelling of roses. Equally, to manage to deploy a rhetoric that has people believing that Scotland is the enemy, a Labour government will cause a global economic crisis and wealth creation is somehow achievable for all, hats off. I feel sorry for the partly self inflicted demise of the Lib Dems as all the indications of life under a majority Con government highlight the neutralising impact they had on the coalition. Cue EU referendum, snoopers charter and scrapping the 'madness' that is the Human Rights Act.

More than ever it seems the country is polarised ideologically. Half of Scotland clearly want out of the Union. People in major cities believe in a fairer society. People everywhere else have a fetish for traditional British values. People in major cities want to protect public services. People everywhere else wanks to border control.

Whether we support it or oppose it, we're stuck with a Government that promotes greed, selfishness and ruthlessness. History shows us that this has been the case more often than not over the last century so in a way the election result should come as no surprise. Cameron pledged to make Britain great again. It's our responsibility to show the bell end cretin that it's us, the diverse, multicultural, complex, joyous, fucked up population that makes Britain great. I've done my bit by rejecting capitalism since the election, despite the pull of 60% off skinny jeans at Asos. Irreverence light. It's a struggle but someone's gotta do it. For queen and country!

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Homeward bound

Through reasons best kept to myself I've arrived at Incheon airport more than 4 hrs before my flight. The check in desks don't even open for another hour, I'm that early. It would appear that I'm not the only one though judging by the QUEUE that's forming at the check in desks. Don't people have anything better to do than standing up for an hour?? Like sitting down and charging your electrical companions whilst writing about the fools in the queue. 

Maybe they know something I don't. Maybe there are just rewards for early birds beyond the security gates. This is after all the airport that's been voted the best in the world for 10 years running. Not my words but spelt out on a massive screen in the departure hall. As far as I'm aware there's a Korea museum on offer, as well as a spa/sauna open to all, normally the reserve for those flying fancy classes. Without a doubt there'll be countless shops and cafés too. We're on Korean soil, goes with the territory. Maybe that's enough to entice the keen traveller to ensure they check in first. 

My Korean adventure is drawing to a close, all that remains is the customary trawl round the duty free shops, 'test' a scent I've no intention to buy (Bleu de Chanel) and munch on one last bowl of kimchi. Might spray the scent even more liberally than normal seeing as I won't be having a shower for a good while, and I've already walked round downtown Seoul for a day. Had to resort to desperate measures just before, foot hygiene by face wipes. It's never a good thing when you can smell your feet when stood up.

Having now joined the queue so to not miss out on all the fun of the fair, I've ended up behind a Korean party of 5 with an obscene amount of luggage, plus a dog. I'm guessing at least one of them is setting up home elsewhere. Or they've just gone berserk in the shops. Could be both. There's a curious phenomenon in Seoul, presumably throughout the country - the duty free department store. If I've understood it right it's essentially an airport duty free shop but in the middle of Seoul, accessible to browse for all and sundry, but only those who are about to leave the country imminently are allowed to buy stuff. You then pick up the purchases at the airport. For all intents and purposes it's a brilliant idea, you wonder why other countries haven't followed suit. Some may have, I've only been to a small percentage of countries, but I've never come across it elsewhere. There's the facility to claim a tax refund for certain goods but that's different. 

I paid a visit to one of said duty free shops the other day, there's a few of them as you'd expect, and it was an experience that will linger for years. They ought to make it mandatory for everyone visiting Seoul. It is so worth it, it says as much about Korean life as any recognised cultural attraction. Spread out over 2 floors of the megalopolis that is the Lotte department store in Myengdong, the general vibe can best be described as total bedlam. People were rushing round like headless chickens and the noise levels must've been at the upper ends of what's permitted under health and safety. Think Primark at Christmas. Only in a luxury, Selfridges-esque setting. Getting the duty knocked off may sound like a worthwhile endeavour but then the VAT is only 10% here. I love a bargain but I've never felt that overjoyed at getting a 10% discount. Perhaps I'd be thinking differently if Prada, Dior, Louis Vuitton et al were real to me. When you fork out 3 grand on a pair of Chanel boots it probably pays off enduring a mayhem shopping experience in exchange for a tenth off. In sharp contrast, I bought some chinos and a Pet Shop Boys t shirt (photos to follow) from a Uniqlo type shop earlier today and was given a receipt to claim the VAT back. All £1.80 of it. A far, far cry from the Chanel echelons. Needless to say I let the Korean government keep the tax, hopefully they'll do something useful with it. 

The Lotte department store is housed in three interconnected high rises, the main department store, an annex for youths and a separate 'premium brands' building. I accidentally wandered in to the luxury one and didn't realise until I was in the lift and glanced at the floor plan. All the usual suspects had their concessions across the first 9 floors, Jimmy Choo was still in development, a bit late to the party there. On the 10th floor however was a dentist, random, and a plastic surgeon, randomer. What's that about?? Imagine nipping off to Harrods for a pair of Manolo Blahnik's and a spot of botox, or Fortnum and Mason for a morning coat and an eye lift?

Perhaps it isn't such a random concept after all, back on ground level where us peasants roam, the sheer number of health and beauty shops would suggest that Koreans are either obsessed with beauty or keen to maintain sound mind and body. Second only to cafés in number of outlets, there was even a branch of one chain, Olive Young, by the foot of the Namsan Tower, sandwiched between the souvenir shop and an ice cream parlour. This to me is a slight paradox. Looking at the population in general they don't appear to have any skin issues nor do they seem to wear that much make up. In fact the Korean gene appears to be very favourable for healthy, radiant and blemish free skin. Shame that good gene passed me by, 37 and still counting spots here. I ought to have enquired within in hindsight. There's probably a universal language for oily and blackheads.

**The airport experience was particularly disappointing. Most shops and facilities shut at 10pm so it was slightly eerie walking through a deserted airport. They should really reconsider their opening hours if they want to keep their position as head of the class. Dubai and Hamad is on it 24 hrs a day. I'm now typing from the plane. I've joined the mile high blogging club! Definitely not tother one. That would just be wrong**

The holiday has been amazing for many reasons, a nuisance for others, so on balance I'm equally pleased with the trip itself and the fact I'm currently homeward bound. It dawned on me this morning that I've been virtually silent for 12 days straight, apart from the odd hello, thank you and "English". Quite an unusual concept for me, I'm generally rather chatty/jovial/opinionated/argumentative, my vocal chords must be in a state of confused flux. Back to normality tomorrow, the Liv Ullman routine is ultimately not for me. 

There are lots of things I'll miss about the place - the general vibe, the food, the weather, the complete absence of potentially threatening or intimidating situations, the culture, the food, the cleanliness, the food, the range of age groups you come across at any time - in the street, in shops, at attractions. OAPs are out in force living life to the full, including mastering the MANY stairs up and down in the subway. No wonder they're all slim!

To put things in context, all the subway stations are some degree of massive. They're on at least 4 levels, often 5 or 6 depending on how many lines intersect. It's a relatively new subway and by god they really dug down into the ground. There are plenty of escalators around but not many stations have elevators and every single station has unaided steps, some more than others. From getting off the train to reaching street level can take about 10 minutes, even at quieter times. With the hoards of people too, I certainly felt bamboozled at times, getting on the wrong train, missing my stop, walking in the wrong direction and so on. The underground shopping arcades on the first level down from street level don't help either. They've got some bits completely right though, it's really really cheap - 60p will get you way out in to the suburbs, all platforms have got a security wall akin to the one on the Jubilee line so no opportunity for suicide jumpers, the trains are spacious, wide and high ceilings, and really well air conditioned. Most importantly mobile networks are fully covered and there's free wifi on the trains. 

Technology is everywhere, as you'd imagine from a country that gave birth to Samsung, LG, Daewoo etc. One public toilet I frequented had a digital panel with buttons for flushing, cleaning, lighting and other things I didn't understand. There are TV screens wherever you turn, either giving instructions or playing adverts. People young and old are on their mobile phones ALL THE TIME. I thought I was quite bad but I'm a novice in comparison. Even when people are sat together conversing tête-à-tête, there's usually one or two mobiles in active use. I don't think I observed a single gathering that was mobile-less. It's probably already happening amongst the youth of most countries but I love the fact that older generations were just as trigger happy with their mobiles. Snapchat's addictive innit.

Technology was evident at the cinema too, Korea having pioneered the 4D technology which has recently arrived in the UK. In Milton Keynes of all places. The fourth dimension is all physical - the chairs tilt and vibrate, there are wind machines and water sprays, weird air gusts coming from the head rest, light effects and really unwelcome 'punches' in the back from the seat. I of course had to try it so went along to the only film currently showing in 4D, the new Avengers movie. Not my genre of preference but the special effects were great. The 4D features were interesting but a bit distracting, particularly the vibrating and punching chairs. Funnily enough some of the film takes place in Seoul, with a big action set piece playing out in city centre. It was quite surreal seeing the exact street on the big screen that you'd walked down a couple of hours earlier. 

Of course not everything was rosy. The language barrier really made it quite a tricky place to be in at times. At the main attractions it was fine, as was the foreign enclave of Itaewon although I spent minimal time there. Getting back from my North Korea viewing day trip was an altogether different proposition, as was picking restaurants where all signs were in Korean only. People would unsurprisingly speak Korean to me as well and quite quickly the blank expression routine started to feel embarrassing. Initially I replied with "yeong-eo", Korean for English, but I can't have pronounced it properly because it drew a replica blank expression back so resorted to "English" which at least had the desired impact. 

Another rather irritating feature was the beer and "anju" tradition. Koreans tend to order a plate of really expensive sharing food, "anju", when they drink beer, most often fried chicken, dried fish, fruit or chips, so much so that a lot of bars require you to order food in order to serve you a beer. I got up and left on a couple of occasions as a result. Fuck that shit. It did however limit the options drastically. They provide free water everywhere though.

Despite the absolute barrage of shops, markets and street vendors, I managed to remain fairly restrained with my spending. I bought this fancy handkerchief/pocket square from the shop at the National Museum of Korea for a very reasonable 5 quid.

Suitably ethnic. And these frames for a ridiculous price of EIGHT!!! pounds. Selfie warning!

I've been wanting to get plastic frames for a while but my flat nose makes such frames impossible to wear. They end up in the position of reading glasses. As I was preparing for the holiday it occurred to me that wearing glasses is commonplace in the Far East so frames must be adjusted to fit the population properly. And my assumption proved accurate. Not only did they sell a wide range of frames with a much deeper nose bridge, a lot of them were dirt cheap. Surprising really as most other things weren't. 

So overall my first foray into solo travelling has been a great success, minor gripes like enforced silencio aside. Bodes well for the future, next up China! But not for a year

A twosome place

I'm convinced that the words 'café' and 'coffee', in English, are the most common ones adorning the million or two shop signs in Seoul. Café is all around. Despite hitherto deliberately avoiding it due to the ludicrous name, I've ventured in to one of A Twosome Place's coffee joints for a large Americano, hot. Reason being that A Twosome Place represents two of the mental imprints of this trip, and Korea itself, that will stay with me for a very long time - coffee and couples.

Cafés are EVERYWHERE, be it A Twosome Place, The Coffee Bean, Holly's Coffee, Tom n Toms Coffee, Paris Baguette, Starbucks (obviously), Doughnuts and Coffee by Dunkin' Doughnuts or all the 'international' independent places selling hot and cold versions of the black stuff. Good countries they may well be but the USP of tasting hand dripped German or Dutch coffee in Korea is somewhat lost on me. I happened past a Swedish cafe yesterday too. Thought about going in for a cup of Löfbergs but then I remembered I'll be in the real place this time next week and won't have to pay 3 quid for a shot of Karlstad's finest. Besides despite selling Dala horses on the side, there were some distinctly unauthentic sounding items on the menu, unless I've misunderstood the origins of the humble quiche. Unforgiveable. Swedish husmanskost is delicious in its own right, no need to fusion it up.

Most coffee places, and there's at least one on every street it seems, have got people in them, which would indicate that Koreans are coffee crazy. Quick scan through the list of highest coffee consumption per capita however and South Korea is way down in 26th. Sweden sits proudly at number 3 incidentally. Löfbergs Lila - feeding addictions since 1906. Going by the sheer volume of cafés and coffee vendors in Seoul I would've put Korea higher but maybe it's just confined to the cities. Or maybe people flock to cafes for things other than coffee. The fools.

This branch of A Twosome Place is certainly living up to its name. 10 tables are currently occupied of which there are twosomes of either the male-female or female-female variety on 8. Me and another bloke are sat on our own, both occupying ourselves with smart technology. The couple is omni-present in Korea, more so than in other places I've been to. Wherever you go you're surrounded by couples, it doesn't matter which setting or locality they seemingly outnumber any other formation of people. As I typed the last sentence I glanced out the window and in my eye line on a small patch of pavement were 4 couples, no other people near. Everyone should do the same check in their own locality. I bet I win. 

The culture is clearly geared up for twosomes, and most of the ones that swarm the streets, subways, shops, cafes, restaurants, museums seem very comfortable and loved up so there's probably a reason for that. Granted, there are plenty of soloists roaming around, as are groups of 3 or 4 or 5 or more men or women, but the couple stands out. Even more so as a result of the couple clothing trend. That is couples wearing his and hers version of the same t shirt, sweatshirt, shoes, you name it. Some shops have specific couples sections to cater for such fetishes. The first time I came across one it was a bonafide WTF?? moment so had to stop to investigate further. Lo and behold, a swathe of apparel designed for the amorous appeared before me. It's all a bit weird to me, and not just because I'm single. I don't know about you but I've never had a burning desire to walk down the street in matching RUN DMC t-shirts. Surely it's only fair that one of you wear De La Soul no?

For all my misgivings about the couple culture, one very endearing feature I've spotted on numerous occasions is grown men walking down the street hand in hand. Not just linking arms but holding hands. I'm fairly certain it's a term of endearment amongst friends as opposed to an indication of someone's sexual attractions, and as far as I understand it's fairly commonplace across Asian cultures. Good on them, and good for them. It makes for a jovial, friendly and relaxed atmosphere. Can't quite see that particular bromance display take off in 'developed' countries though. I'm sure most Germanic/Italic/Slavic/whatever languages have a version of "F*** off, I'm not a f******".

Discovering quirky aspects of different cultures is one of the main reasons I'm addicted to holidaying. The other day I saw an old chap delivering a large window pane by bicycle! It looked a bit awkward but the window pane appeared to be securely strapped to the side of the bike. The Korean language has different ways of saying common phrases such as hello and thank you depending on whether you're speaking to an older person, a stranger or a friend. There's also different ways of saying goodbye depending on whether you're the person staying or the person leaving. In the subway they play a fanfare over the tannoy as a train is approaching. Think similar, but better, to the one Ryanair play when they land on time (which should really be every time cos of their overly generous flight time allowance). 

Quirky also appears to be the buzzword amongst Korean architects judging by the frankly bonkers designs of the hundreds of multi-storey buildings that have sprung up across Seoul under the auspice of urban regeneration. During my week of wandering the many streets of Seoul my jaw has literally dropped on a few occasions, sometimes in admiration, sometimes in disbelief. They've clearly taken 'blue-sky thinking' to a whole new level. Unfortunately I've not always had the wherewithal to capture the splendour on camera but here are a few examples:

Mock Manhattan 

Concrete Emmenthal 

Someone's doodle mistaken for architectural plan

The Bullring goes east courtesy of Zaha Hadid



























There are aspects of Korean life and culture that I've paid attention to properly this time round and grown partial to. It's up there with Thailand as the least threatening place I've visited, or lived in. Buddhist and/or Confusion teachings are really evident. Being nice and kind to others makes a big difference. Shocker.

I love love love the food, and the position food has in everyday life. It's not some insignificant or time draining means of replenishing energy reserves, it's something to enjoy, an important part of the day, and a conduit for social interaction. The social aspect appears by all accounts integral to enjoying a fullfilled life for Koreans, be it with family or friends. All of which is great if you've got people to be social with. It comes across a very unforgiving society for people who lack in that department.

Having said that I've now left the couply cafe and moved on to a food place, a very tasty rice and kimchi bowl consumed, and there were two other people dining on their lonesome, allegedly something that's viewed with dread. Maybe attitudes and customs are a-changing. Undoubtedly dining company makes a difference for most but for me knowing I'm self sufficient is of great importance and there's no better place than here to put that to test. 

Incidentally self sufficiency has never really been an option for either country since the demarcation (learned a new word on holiday) of the Korean peninsula. The ideological influence of the 'sponsor' power is in full view in the South, I'd imagine similarly in the North. This kind of stand off makes it quite possibly the most intriguing place on earth.

During our visit in '87 we visited Panmunjom on a guided tour. It's one of the things I remember most vividly about the whole trip. We got to go in to the Joint Security Area committee room where the border cuts across the boardroom table and set foot on North Korean soil. This was of course in the latter stages of the Cold War and I remember receiving strict instructions not to make any sudden movements or else. Having already been there I opted to go off to an observation point north of Seoul to catch a glimpse of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Here's a glimpse:

The place is called the Udosan Unification Observatory, set out over 4 floors. They had binoculars to look through and I searched desperately for some sign of life. Saw one lonesome person on a field, couple clothing may not have taken off in the North quite yet, and that was it. Utterly fascinating though, not just the realisation that you're looking at some unspectacular buildings and undulating landscapes with utmost enthusiasm, but also the opportunity to see an exhibition of North Korean stuff. Such is the representation in the west that you kind of expect caveman antics but wait, they drink, smoke, work, maintain personal hygiene, have money and send post. Incredible. It's like they're a fully functioning society. I'll be damned.

Although not actually in the DMZ, there was a souvenir shop of course. There's one at Auschwitz, just saying. I was hoping for a selection of imported DPRK goods but had to settle for some DMZ chocolates and this key ring:

3 quid well spent, guessing it's like a border police officer or something. Might save the wrapping otherwise it'll just look like an insignificant key ring, which would be a travesty. It represents unification god dammit!! The discourse at the obersatory carried positive and hopeful messages but I very much doubt I'll get to see such a twosome in my lifetime. RUN DMC said it right: it's tricky.