My life in technicolour YouTube

So it was my birthday on the 19th, edging ever closer to the milestone that is 4-0, forty. Whilst ageing definitely has its benefits, lessened self doubt/neurosis is a massive bonus, the drawbacks are numerous. The permanent midriff overhang, the creaking bones, the stiff and aching muscles, the beckoning dentures, the excessive hangovers, the unwelcome reminders that people around you are way younger ("Pulp Fiction? Yeah, I wasn't born then"). Worse still, despite my best efforts to cling on to my youth, at some point I'm going to have to face up to the fact that I'm indeed twice the age as the other people in the queue in Topman. Aargh!!! Might start planning some suitable mid-life crisis antics already.

Mind you I'm not giving up that easily, I reckon I can get away with pretending to be down with the kids for a few years more. Staff in both the failing and prospering supermarkets still seem to mistake me for an underage drinker on occasion which is a bonus (perhaps I should stop rocking up to the counter with a 3 litre bottle of White Lightning though). Work with what you've got I say, age related shopper's remorse can wait. So in my mind I can get away with splashing out £2 on a black belt and £5 on a dress shirt / t shirt hybrid from the clearance section in Topman and Asos.

I'm all over the bargain belt. It fastens through the platted strands of "leather" so I'm not envisaging longevity. I reckon it'll end up costing less than a 100th of a penny per wear though, which is the definition of good value for money. In comparison I've got a shirt from John Lewis that I've still not worn, bought for £50 (FULL PRICE what was I thinking??) for a wedding. Could've bought 25 belts for that. I'd love to have 25 belts. The dress shirt t shirt I'm on the fence with. It seemed a good idea at the time but on reflection I'm not quite sure when I would wear it. I rarely have the need for a dress shirt, and if so it would require a full on dress shirt and not one made out of jersey. It also looks a bit too dressy to wear as a t shirt. Ne'er mind. I'm sure the opportunity will arise. If all else fails I can do chores in a tux.

Another benefit of 'maturing' has been an increasing boldness with colour choices. At one point as a precocious and ever so pretentious teen, I got it in my head that I was only going to wear black from head to toe. What a loser. Nowadays I've amassed a veritable Pantone chart in my wardrobe. I'm a particular fan of jazzy socks and my go to shop is Primark. So much so that I'm more or less guaranteed to be wearing at least one item of Primark clothing every day of the week. They're cheap and ever so jazzy. They don't last very long so all the more reason for topping up. 5 pairs for £4, can't argue with that.

These ones are slightly less jazzy than the orange and pink zebra striped ones I bought last time but colourful Argyle is always welcome. Lately I've also discovered the joys of brightly coloured shoelaces to spruce up formal shoes. £2.99 each on eBay, purple and blue ones bought, full spectrum to follow.

Rather fetching n'est pas?

This year I'm eking out the birthday celebrations so the day itself was a low key affair. Highly enjoyable still though. Maybe I AM showing my age at times after all. I stayed in with a bottle of Rioja and YouTubed all 38 singles that have been number 1 in the charts on my birthday, that includes my actual day of birth, I'm not 38 for another year. Official videos only of course, no live recordings, shitty lyric videos or pointless home made acoustic cover takes. By necessity there are some stinkers in the list but overall there were definitely more killers than fillers and the whole thing was thoroughly enjoyable. Here are the 38 singles:

1978 Take a Chance on Me - ABBA
1979 Heart of Glass - Blondie
1980 Coward of the County - Kenny Rogers
1981 Woman - John Lennon
1982 A Town Called Malice - The Jam
1983 Too Shy - Kajagoogoo
1984 Relax - Frankie Goes To Hollywood
1985 I Know Him So Well - Elaine Paige & Barbara Dickson
1986 When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Gets Going - Billy Ocean
1987 I Knew You Were Waiting for Me - George Michael & Aretha Franklin
1988 I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany
1989 Something's Gotten Hold of My Heart - Marc Almond & Gene Pitney
1990 Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
1991 Do the Bartman - Bart Simpson
1992 Goodnight Girl - Wet Wet Wet
1993 No Limit - 2 Unlimited
1994 Without You - Mariah Carey
1995 Think Twice - Celine Dion
1996 Spaceman - Babylon Zoo
1997 Discotheque - U2
1998 Doctor Jones - Aqua
1999 Maria - Blondie
2000 Go Let it Out - Oasis
2001 Whole Again - Atomic Kitten
2002 Hero - Enrique Iglesias
2003 All the Things She Said - t.A.T.u
2004 Take Me to the Clouds Above - LMC vs U2
2005 Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own - U2
2006 Thunder in My Heart - MECK ft. Leo Sayer
2007 Grace Kelly - Mika
2008 Now You're Gone - Basshunter
2009 The Fear - Lily Allen
2010 Fireflies - Owl City
2011 Price Tag - Jessie J
2012 Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye feat. Kimbra
2013 Thrift Shop - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz
2014 Rather Be - Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne
2015 Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Random observations:
1978 through to 1990 is stellar, pure class, and a stark reminder of the overall decline in quality musical output since.
I'd forgotten just how excruciatingly bad the video for Think Twice is. She's forlorn, wrapped in a sheet! He's an ice sculptor!
U2 really could churn out any old tripe and get to number 1. They appear 3 times too many for my liking. And Numb wasn't one of them, which would've made it slightly more bearable
Now You're Gone has been watched 164 million times. Lunacy

My favourite year:
2003, closely followed by 1989 and 1979. Faux lesbian Russian teens, say no more