As you may have noticed, I don't care much for Valentine's day. I'd go so far as to say that it's probably my least favourite 'day'. I've always made a point of not acknowledging it, even through years of being coupled up. My dislike is multifaceted in origin. It's a cynical commercial ploy, it's exclusive, it's reductionist, it's gender biased. If I wanted to display affection to loved ones through the medium of presents, I wouldn't necessarily wait until mid February to do so. And I wouldn't buy something that had been 'carefully selected' for me to unsubtly spell out the sentiment. Unromantic chocolate tastes just as good.
Having said that I'm not against the concept per se, I just don't value it for myself. The mere thought of grand, sweeping declarations of endearment of any sort gives me the shivers, akin to a dentist drilling too close to the nerve. Others clearly get a lot out of the day though and that's totally great for them. No soap box of ginormous proportions here. No siree. As though to prove the point, this year even I dipped my toe into the sickly sweet goo of love by bookending Valentine's weekend with two very different depictions of human affection.
Early afternoon screening at the brand spanking new Curzon Sheffield of Love is Strange, starring John Lithgow and Alfred Molina. The title is slightly misleading seeing as there's been a number of unusual love stories hitting our multiplexes and independent cinemas over the years that would've been a better fit. Man loves mannequin (Mannequin). Boy loves granny (Harold and Maude). Woman loves gorilla (King Kong). Man loves sex doll (Lars and the Real Girl). Doll loves doll (Bride of Chucky). Man loves operating system (Her). There is nothing remotely headline grabbing about the central love story in Love is Strange however. The only unusual thing, strange even, is that it got made in the first place, focusing as it does on a gay male couple of advancing years who decides to tie the knot after being together for 39 years. Understated and beautifully acted by two ageing stalwarts with palpable chemistry between them. It's like Amour minus the tension and dementia.
The film is not without its flaws but enjoyable nevertheless, and particularly appropriate for a Valentine's matinee. Love is indeed strange and it's not a one size fits all. I once had a chat with a poly-amorous couple three whilst peddling Chlamydia tests in exchange for Sex Factor boxer shorts as part of Sheffield Sexual Health Day in Barker's Pool, outside John Lewis. I had never come across the concept before, let alone an actual couple/threesome. They spoke very frankly and candidly about their approach to love and relationships, how they can fall in love with more than one person at the same time and how they maintain the relationship between the three of them. Afterwards I was thinking huge kudos to them for being so open and unapologetic for a 'lifestyle choice' that would generally be demonised or dismissed. So what if consenting adults are living as a threesome? So what if someone falls in love with a computer with husky vocals or declare his inanimate and perennially surprised sex doll his life partner? That's love too. And herein lies perhaps the main reason for my Valentine's dislike. Loving relationships are all around and take on all sorts of guises yet at Valentine's the complexity of human emotions is kicked into submission and shoe horned into neat heart shaped boxes of conventions and expectations. If only life itself was that simple.
Love's strange ways is also at work in the film that wrapped up my Valentine's weekend, having thoroughly enjoyed Arsenal outgunning Middlesbrough in the FA Cup earlier in the afternoon.
The brilliant Juno on Blu-Ray, pre-owned from eBay for £5. I've been waiting patiently for it to appear on Netflix but thought fuck it, it's worth owning anyway. Exceptionally well written, peppered with quotable lines, funny and well acted. And it's about teenage pregnancy. Despite Juno deciding to go through with the pregnancy it still feels like it's sticking two very firm fingers up at convention and the joyless pro-lifers. Get pregnant and give birth first, then fall in love. Whatever works, love is strange.
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