The land that's supposedly full of morning calm

Exhilarating and exhausting. They're the first two words that spring to mind when trying to summarise my first 4.25 days in Seoul. Bewildering and beguiling follows, as does alluring and alienating. Despite this being my third visit as a non-toddler, it's the first one in which I've been able to put things into proper context. In 1987 I was too young, everything was a big, bold adventure, and in 2002 we were too preoccupied with the World Cup, as was the rest of the country. This time, with no organised group travel or mega event to distract, and with an older but hardly wiser head on my shoulders, I've been able to take stuff in, filter it through a reasonably well travelled adult's consciousness, and travelling on my lonesome had ample time to reflect. The result is a maelstrom of impressions and emotions, not unlike the place itself.

Here's a picture to set the scene:

It's representative in two ways: coffee and couples. Both are ubiquitous.

Things didn't get off to the best of starts. In the context of my travel mishaps it doesn't quite reach top 5 but nevertheless a bloody nuisance. Flying Qatar Airways (shameless product placement in the hope of a free upgrade!) I had a connection in Doha, in the brand new, state of the art, Hamad International airport. They have iMacs dotted round for public abuse! Turns out the connecting plane had a 'technical issue' which resulted in a 4 hour plus delay. Not at all welcome when it's in the middle of the night but needs must. Upon landing at Incheon airport I couldn't use my bank cards in their cash machines and the currency exchange people only accepted hard cash, fuckers.

Blind panic and visions of having to camp out at the airport ensued. Luckily one of the machines finally accepted my card, no Tom Hanks manoeuvre needed. Upon arriving at Seoul train station the taxi driver struggled to work out the address I was going to and promptly dropped me off in the wrong place, fortunately not too far away from the intended destination. Next issue, there appears to be no building numbers marked up in Korea so finding the right place even when on the right street is a bit of a struggle. Anyway, got there in the end. Well behind schedule and a tad frazzled.

I've crammed loads in to my days already and won't bore you with the minute details, even if you ask me to. Here are some random thoughts though.

It's bloody hot. In my opinion. The locals seem to disagree though as the majority are breezingly strutting round wearing double layers and long trousers/denim. I on the other hand am wearing t shirt and shorts and still sweat like a pig. The wet look is really not all that.

Koreans are slim, even elderly people. I've not seen a single obese person, at most people have a bit of middle age spread. There's obviously something about the oriental diet - low dairy, high protein. Or maybe there are other lifestyle factors, either way it bloody works. People in general look rather healthy, despite seemingly consuming lots and lots of food, and fags and booze. I demand to know their secret.

Koreans are everywhere. The city is so, so busy at any given time, it makes you wonder if we need to reconsider their 'land of the morning calm' moniker. Hardly surprising perhaps, the metropolitan area of Seoul has a staggering population of 25 million. That's some serious headcount in a relatively limited space. Handy tip for avoiding the huge crowds: venture into a museum. I went to the suitably nationalistic National Museum of Contemporary Korean History today and it was practically empty. On that note, I would LOVE to compare and contrast with North Korea's take on contemporary history. It may well be slightly different.

Everything is clean. Public spaces like main shopping streets, subway stations, train stations, parks, even the pavements, are spotless in the main. It's initially a bit strange, particularly if you're from litter happy Britain. You quickly realise though that it's not just about employing a veritable army of cleaners, there's a palpable sense of social responsibility evident in everyday life. Puts the UK to shame.

Everything is awesome. The general mood seems buoyant and carefree, although that's probably not everyone's reality. There's a relentlessly positive and enthusiastic vibe coming through. a large part of Korean life seems to be lived outside of the home, typically over a bite to eat. Good on them.

Everything is for sale. There are shops literally everywhere, mostly health and beauty ones, and where it's not a shop it's an eatery of some description. It makes for quite a disorientating experience, every street looks similar, neon clad, crowded, noisy, food odour in the air. Consumerism is very much in full force too, people seemingly love to splash the cash. It's rare to see an empty shop be it a hardware store or a jewellers. A tad annoyingly the US presence, there's still a massive army base in central Seoul, has left a permanent mark. You can't turn a corner without bumping in to a major US brand, particularly the food outlet ones. Maybe Koreans won't stay slim for much longer.

Koreans love a good toilet. There's a toilet in every subway station and in all public spaces, which gets the thumbs up from me. When you gotta go you've just gotta go, there's nothing worse than scrambling round looking for a toilet. In Seoul that's not an issue. And of course they're all spotless.

Koreans are rather well dressed. There's a slightly uniform approach to fashion amongst young folks mind. This means that there's a certain look about both men and women with limited variation. It's easy to see why, most shops sell similar looking clothes. I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon in the Hongdae area, predominantly a student area, in the company of a local guide, Hui ji. She volunteers with Meteor Volunteer Youth Club, an organisation which offers visitors free guided tours tailored to individual preferences. It's mutually beneficial, you get a free guide, they get to practice English. If you're planning a visit I'd definitely recommend them. You can choose themes like culture, history, sights. I naturally picked shopping and Hongdae, and nearby Sinchon, are good places for clothes shopping.

If anyone's thinking to visit Seoul, or just want to find out a bit more about the city from sources other than official literature, check out the Seoulistic blog. It's excellent. And the guy who runs it featured in The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure so he's legit. Anyway, came across this little number in one of the shops in Hongdae:

6 or so quid in total, cheap! Strangely hardly anything else is, apart from the food. Prices have definitely gone up since we were last there. Speaking of which, the food is out of this world, IBS upsettingly spicy but oh so tasty. And I'm hooked on the little side dishes. The only slight drawback with solo travelling is in the food department. Korean BBQ restaurants are everywhere but they require at least two of you to eat. Arse! Can't have everything 'suppose. Tofu stew for one it is.

Constant craving

Today at dinner time, lunch if you're not from t'up north, I took the “What's the right diet for you?” test as promoted on BBC's homepage. Beats reading depressing/biased/misrepresented world news. Plus I'd already browsed the red carpet looks from the Golden Globes before going to work. I had a sneaky feeling about the outcome of the test as soon as I stumbled upon it. Actually not even sneaky, full on guaranteed. I love food. I love eating, I love cooking, I love baking, I love preserving, I love pickling. Unfortunately I also lack discipline when it comes to things I enjoy doing, hence I eat a lot. And often. Three meals a day, elevenses, pre-elevenses, afternoon treats, supper, snacks whilst cooking, bring it on.

Anyone who finds gluttony repulsive is hereby advised to stay well clear of an all you can eat establishment if I'm in it. No dish is safe. Going on an all inclusive holiday would be plain scary. I treated my colleague Lisa to a fine display of feeding prowess during a recent stay at Southwark Travelodge, sampling everything from the breakfast buffet. Fry up, cereal, toast, yoghurt, pastries, fruit, Babybel, orange juice, coffee. Even the scrambled eggs made from powdered egg. No dish left untouched.

I cook myself large portions of food glorious food most evenings, solo eating for two basically. Nouvelle cuisine it most definitely ain't. On the flipside I eat a balanced diet, lots of veg, not a lot of processed foods, snacks aside of course, and do a fair bit of exercise. Me and Swedemount have been out this evening even. Nevertheless my BMI is firmly rooted in the red so the diet test was always going be a foregone conclusion. “At the end of a typical meal, how often do you feel like you haven’t had enough to eat?” All the time (go back for seconds). “If you pass a plate of biscuits or a bowl of crisps, how often will you pick one up?” Always (bloody rude not to). “Do you eat large portion sizes?” Always (no shit, Sherlock). “When you’re out at a meal with friends, do they all seem to get full before you, even when you’re eating the same thing?” All the time (finish other people's plates clearly).

Funnily enough such consumption patterns have a name according to the Beeb: Constant craver. What would KD say? I apparently have 'a strong biological drive to eat' so that's my excuse from now on. My biological drive instructed me to have a slice of cake, a big bag of crisps, a portion of cheesy chips on the side. I confess. Mea Culpa. In fact I reckon I also have a strong biological drive to shop, to drink, to spend money. And you shouldn't deny what comes naturally to you.

Step forward one pair of KG by Kurt Geiger boots.

My previous bout of self control was finally broken by a promise of an extra 10% off the sale price. The marketing team at Asos must just be sat there going 'Sucker!'. £45 they put me back but je ne regrette rien. They're damn fine boots. And damn uncomfortable. Wore them out on Saturday and within the hour I'd acquired a great big blister. First reaction: bleed for fashion, no pain no gain and all that. Quickly dived in to Boots though and emergency first aid applied in the middle of a busy Sheffield high street. Who cares about dignity anyway? Damn fine boots reign.

I also satisfied my strong biological drive at Topman, coming away with a light blue short sleeved shirt and a black polo shirt for a bargain 12 quid in total.

That's me done with the January sales I reckon. The shops should hopefully be resuming full price regimes any day now anyway and that's like garlic to a vampire for me. At the very least it pushes me back to Primark. Mind you when nature calls, the constant craver obeys. It really would be rude not to. Constant craving has always been after all. KD says so.