A twosome place

I'm convinced that the words 'café' and 'coffee', in English, are the most common ones adorning the million or two shop signs in Seoul. Café is all around. Despite hitherto deliberately avoiding it due to the ludicrous name, I've ventured in to one of A Twosome Place's coffee joints for a large Americano, hot. Reason being that A Twosome Place represents two of the mental imprints of this trip, and Korea itself, that will stay with me for a very long time - coffee and couples.

Cafés are EVERYWHERE, be it A Twosome Place, The Coffee Bean, Holly's Coffee, Tom n Toms Coffee, Paris Baguette, Starbucks (obviously), Doughnuts and Coffee by Dunkin' Doughnuts or all the 'international' independent places selling hot and cold versions of the black stuff. Good countries they may well be but the USP of tasting hand dripped German or Dutch coffee in Korea is somewhat lost on me. I happened past a Swedish cafe yesterday too. Thought about going in for a cup of Löfbergs but then I remembered I'll be in the real place this time next week and won't have to pay 3 quid for a shot of Karlstad's finest. Besides despite selling Dala horses on the side, there were some distinctly unauthentic sounding items on the menu, unless I've misunderstood the origins of the humble quiche. Unforgiveable. Swedish husmanskost is delicious in its own right, no need to fusion it up.

Most coffee places, and there's at least one on every street it seems, have got people in them, which would indicate that Koreans are coffee crazy. Quick scan through the list of highest coffee consumption per capita however and South Korea is way down in 26th. Sweden sits proudly at number 3 incidentally. Löfbergs Lila - feeding addictions since 1906. Going by the sheer volume of cafés and coffee vendors in Seoul I would've put Korea higher but maybe it's just confined to the cities. Or maybe people flock to cafes for things other than coffee. The fools.

This branch of A Twosome Place is certainly living up to its name. 10 tables are currently occupied of which there are twosomes of either the male-female or female-female variety on 8. Me and another bloke are sat on our own, both occupying ourselves with smart technology. The couple is omni-present in Korea, more so than in other places I've been to. Wherever you go you're surrounded by couples, it doesn't matter which setting or locality they seemingly outnumber any other formation of people. As I typed the last sentence I glanced out the window and in my eye line on a small patch of pavement were 4 couples, no other people near. Everyone should do the same check in their own locality. I bet I win. 

The culture is clearly geared up for twosomes, and most of the ones that swarm the streets, subways, shops, cafes, restaurants, museums seem very comfortable and loved up so there's probably a reason for that. Granted, there are plenty of soloists roaming around, as are groups of 3 or 4 or 5 or more men or women, but the couple stands out. Even more so as a result of the couple clothing trend. That is couples wearing his and hers version of the same t shirt, sweatshirt, shoes, you name it. Some shops have specific couples sections to cater for such fetishes. The first time I came across one it was a bonafide WTF?? moment so had to stop to investigate further. Lo and behold, a swathe of apparel designed for the amorous appeared before me. It's all a bit weird to me, and not just because I'm single. I don't know about you but I've never had a burning desire to walk down the street in matching RUN DMC t-shirts. Surely it's only fair that one of you wear De La Soul no?

For all my misgivings about the couple culture, one very endearing feature I've spotted on numerous occasions is grown men walking down the street hand in hand. Not just linking arms but holding hands. I'm fairly certain it's a term of endearment amongst friends as opposed to an indication of someone's sexual attractions, and as far as I understand it's fairly commonplace across Asian cultures. Good on them, and good for them. It makes for a jovial, friendly and relaxed atmosphere. Can't quite see that particular bromance display take off in 'developed' countries though. I'm sure most Germanic/Italic/Slavic/whatever languages have a version of "F*** off, I'm not a f******".

Discovering quirky aspects of different cultures is one of the main reasons I'm addicted to holidaying. The other day I saw an old chap delivering a large window pane by bicycle! It looked a bit awkward but the window pane appeared to be securely strapped to the side of the bike. The Korean language has different ways of saying common phrases such as hello and thank you depending on whether you're speaking to an older person, a stranger or a friend. There's also different ways of saying goodbye depending on whether you're the person staying or the person leaving. In the subway they play a fanfare over the tannoy as a train is approaching. Think similar, but better, to the one Ryanair play when they land on time (which should really be every time cos of their overly generous flight time allowance). 

Quirky also appears to be the buzzword amongst Korean architects judging by the frankly bonkers designs of the hundreds of multi-storey buildings that have sprung up across Seoul under the auspice of urban regeneration. During my week of wandering the many streets of Seoul my jaw has literally dropped on a few occasions, sometimes in admiration, sometimes in disbelief. They've clearly taken 'blue-sky thinking' to a whole new level. Unfortunately I've not always had the wherewithal to capture the splendour on camera but here are a few examples:

Mock Manhattan 

Concrete Emmenthal 

Someone's doodle mistaken for architectural plan

The Bullring goes east courtesy of Zaha Hadid



























There are aspects of Korean life and culture that I've paid attention to properly this time round and grown partial to. It's up there with Thailand as the least threatening place I've visited, or lived in. Buddhist and/or Confusion teachings are really evident. Being nice and kind to others makes a big difference. Shocker.

I love love love the food, and the position food has in everyday life. It's not some insignificant or time draining means of replenishing energy reserves, it's something to enjoy, an important part of the day, and a conduit for social interaction. The social aspect appears by all accounts integral to enjoying a fullfilled life for Koreans, be it with family or friends. All of which is great if you've got people to be social with. It comes across a very unforgiving society for people who lack in that department.

Having said that I've now left the couply cafe and moved on to a food place, a very tasty rice and kimchi bowl consumed, and there were two other people dining on their lonesome, allegedly something that's viewed with dread. Maybe attitudes and customs are a-changing. Undoubtedly dining company makes a difference for most but for me knowing I'm self sufficient is of great importance and there's no better place than here to put that to test. 

Incidentally self sufficiency has never really been an option for either country since the demarcation (learned a new word on holiday) of the Korean peninsula. The ideological influence of the 'sponsor' power is in full view in the South, I'd imagine similarly in the North. This kind of stand off makes it quite possibly the most intriguing place on earth.

During our visit in '87 we visited Panmunjom on a guided tour. It's one of the things I remember most vividly about the whole trip. We got to go in to the Joint Security Area committee room where the border cuts across the boardroom table and set foot on North Korean soil. This was of course in the latter stages of the Cold War and I remember receiving strict instructions not to make any sudden movements or else. Having already been there I opted to go off to an observation point north of Seoul to catch a glimpse of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Here's a glimpse:

The place is called the Udosan Unification Observatory, set out over 4 floors. They had binoculars to look through and I searched desperately for some sign of life. Saw one lonesome person on a field, couple clothing may not have taken off in the North quite yet, and that was it. Utterly fascinating though, not just the realisation that you're looking at some unspectacular buildings and undulating landscapes with utmost enthusiasm, but also the opportunity to see an exhibition of North Korean stuff. Such is the representation in the west that you kind of expect caveman antics but wait, they drink, smoke, work, maintain personal hygiene, have money and send post. Incredible. It's like they're a fully functioning society. I'll be damned.

Although not actually in the DMZ, there was a souvenir shop of course. There's one at Auschwitz, just saying. I was hoping for a selection of imported DPRK goods but had to settle for some DMZ chocolates and this key ring:

3 quid well spent, guessing it's like a border police officer or something. Might save the wrapping otherwise it'll just look like an insignificant key ring, which would be a travesty. It represents unification god dammit!! The discourse at the obersatory carried positive and hopeful messages but I very much doubt I'll get to see such a twosome in my lifetime. RUN DMC said it right: it's tricky.

The land that's supposedly full of morning calm

Exhilarating and exhausting. They're the first two words that spring to mind when trying to summarise my first 4.25 days in Seoul. Bewildering and beguiling follows, as does alluring and alienating. Despite this being my third visit as a non-toddler, it's the first one in which I've been able to put things into proper context. In 1987 I was too young, everything was a big, bold adventure, and in 2002 we were too preoccupied with the World Cup, as was the rest of the country. This time, with no organised group travel or mega event to distract, and with an older but hardly wiser head on my shoulders, I've been able to take stuff in, filter it through a reasonably well travelled adult's consciousness, and travelling on my lonesome had ample time to reflect. The result is a maelstrom of impressions and emotions, not unlike the place itself.

Here's a picture to set the scene:

It's representative in two ways: coffee and couples. Both are ubiquitous.

Things didn't get off to the best of starts. In the context of my travel mishaps it doesn't quite reach top 5 but nevertheless a bloody nuisance. Flying Qatar Airways (shameless product placement in the hope of a free upgrade!) I had a connection in Doha, in the brand new, state of the art, Hamad International airport. They have iMacs dotted round for public abuse! Turns out the connecting plane had a 'technical issue' which resulted in a 4 hour plus delay. Not at all welcome when it's in the middle of the night but needs must. Upon landing at Incheon airport I couldn't use my bank cards in their cash machines and the currency exchange people only accepted hard cash, fuckers.

Blind panic and visions of having to camp out at the airport ensued. Luckily one of the machines finally accepted my card, no Tom Hanks manoeuvre needed. Upon arriving at Seoul train station the taxi driver struggled to work out the address I was going to and promptly dropped me off in the wrong place, fortunately not too far away from the intended destination. Next issue, there appears to be no building numbers marked up in Korea so finding the right place even when on the right street is a bit of a struggle. Anyway, got there in the end. Well behind schedule and a tad frazzled.

I've crammed loads in to my days already and won't bore you with the minute details, even if you ask me to. Here are some random thoughts though.

It's bloody hot. In my opinion. The locals seem to disagree though as the majority are breezingly strutting round wearing double layers and long trousers/denim. I on the other hand am wearing t shirt and shorts and still sweat like a pig. The wet look is really not all that.

Koreans are slim, even elderly people. I've not seen a single obese person, at most people have a bit of middle age spread. There's obviously something about the oriental diet - low dairy, high protein. Or maybe there are other lifestyle factors, either way it bloody works. People in general look rather healthy, despite seemingly consuming lots and lots of food, and fags and booze. I demand to know their secret.

Koreans are everywhere. The city is so, so busy at any given time, it makes you wonder if we need to reconsider their 'land of the morning calm' moniker. Hardly surprising perhaps, the metropolitan area of Seoul has a staggering population of 25 million. That's some serious headcount in a relatively limited space. Handy tip for avoiding the huge crowds: venture into a museum. I went to the suitably nationalistic National Museum of Contemporary Korean History today and it was practically empty. On that note, I would LOVE to compare and contrast with North Korea's take on contemporary history. It may well be slightly different.

Everything is clean. Public spaces like main shopping streets, subway stations, train stations, parks, even the pavements, are spotless in the main. It's initially a bit strange, particularly if you're from litter happy Britain. You quickly realise though that it's not just about employing a veritable army of cleaners, there's a palpable sense of social responsibility evident in everyday life. Puts the UK to shame.

Everything is awesome. The general mood seems buoyant and carefree, although that's probably not everyone's reality. There's a relentlessly positive and enthusiastic vibe coming through. a large part of Korean life seems to be lived outside of the home, typically over a bite to eat. Good on them.

Everything is for sale. There are shops literally everywhere, mostly health and beauty ones, and where it's not a shop it's an eatery of some description. It makes for quite a disorientating experience, every street looks similar, neon clad, crowded, noisy, food odour in the air. Consumerism is very much in full force too, people seemingly love to splash the cash. It's rare to see an empty shop be it a hardware store or a jewellers. A tad annoyingly the US presence, there's still a massive army base in central Seoul, has left a permanent mark. You can't turn a corner without bumping in to a major US brand, particularly the food outlet ones. Maybe Koreans won't stay slim for much longer.

Koreans love a good toilet. There's a toilet in every subway station and in all public spaces, which gets the thumbs up from me. When you gotta go you've just gotta go, there's nothing worse than scrambling round looking for a toilet. In Seoul that's not an issue. And of course they're all spotless.

Koreans are rather well dressed. There's a slightly uniform approach to fashion amongst young folks mind. This means that there's a certain look about both men and women with limited variation. It's easy to see why, most shops sell similar looking clothes. I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon in the Hongdae area, predominantly a student area, in the company of a local guide, Hui ji. She volunteers with Meteor Volunteer Youth Club, an organisation which offers visitors free guided tours tailored to individual preferences. It's mutually beneficial, you get a free guide, they get to practice English. If you're planning a visit I'd definitely recommend them. You can choose themes like culture, history, sights. I naturally picked shopping and Hongdae, and nearby Sinchon, are good places for clothes shopping.

If anyone's thinking to visit Seoul, or just want to find out a bit more about the city from sources other than official literature, check out the Seoulistic blog. It's excellent. And the guy who runs it featured in The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure so he's legit. Anyway, came across this little number in one of the shops in Hongdae:

6 or so quid in total, cheap! Strangely hardly anything else is, apart from the food. Prices have definitely gone up since we were last there. Speaking of which, the food is out of this world, IBS upsettingly spicy but oh so tasty. And I'm hooked on the little side dishes. The only slight drawback with solo travelling is in the food department. Korean BBQ restaurants are everywhere but they require at least two of you to eat. Arse! Can't have everything 'suppose. Tofu stew for one it is.