Money Spending Expert

Fact: I'm one of life's spenders. People like me keep people like Martin Lewis extremely well fed with our need for constant reminders not to get royally screwed over, pay over the odds or mismanage our finances. Erratic spending is my stock-in-trade and no amount of brainwashing from the experts in money saving would stem the cash flow. In the same week that one of the Money Saving Expert bloggers decided to FLY from Sheffield to Essex via Berlin as it was £8 cheaper, I took it upon myself to make a similar journey way way way more expensive than it ought to have been. I'm a disaster, it's what I do.

So anyone looking to waste a few quid here's a quick recipe:
1. Book a train ticket in advance for £33 (1st class obvs)
2. Pick it up from the ticket machine
3. Lose said ticket, alternatively throw it in the bin
4. Forget you picked it up in the first place
5. Try and collect it again
6. Leave it til the day of travel before enquiring about the collection error
7. Find out that you indeed picked up the ticket 2 weeks previous and therefore a replacement can't be issued
8. Feel like a twat on the phone
9. Feel like a twat after hanging up
10. Grudgingly buy another ticket for £73.50 (Standard pleb class obvs)

New year, same old me
I've pretty much given up on acquiring common sense by now. Luckily I've also spent money on more enjoyable fare too. New year, same old me, new stylings. All of them in the sale. Fashion forward in last season's gear. Trendplagiariser. Sartorially delayed. The sale offers keep on coming too so there's no let up in the temptations.

Here are a few of the things I'll be sporting around town over the coming months:










Burgundy trench from Zara. The quintessential sale item, not even end of season, end of the season before. They'll be stocking the stores with spring/summer's version of trench coats soon, the fact that it's a timeless classic seems to have gone amiss somewhere. Fool them.



Block coloured jumper from Shore Leave, Urban Outfitters. Unusal and cheap=Win and win.



Black and grey stripe jumper from Only & Sons, Asos. I was expecting white stripes but hey ho. At least there's no hard button to button.

White and black printed short sleeve shirt from Asos. I love this shirt, in the most tenuous of fashions it reminds me of Sean Connery as 007 in Goldfinger. Shocking, positively shocking.



Pink gingham shirt from Asos. Ginghams do have soul.



Pink polo from Brave Soul, Asos. On Wednesdays we wear pink.



Block patterned t shirt from Zara. It's a bitch to iron so this one will get limited airtime.



Coloured collar and cuffs polo from Topman. The tag says skinny, the description did not *fumes*.



Annoyingly squeaky white trainers from Pull and Bear. Having re-discovered my likeness for the white trainer recently, no idea when and why it meant missing, this is the 3rd pair I've bought in quick succession. 2 of them squeak. Not impressed.



Pack of 4 excellently patterned socks from Urban Outfitters. The woman in the Westfield Stratford shop forgot to take the alarm tag off each pair and as a result the socks have been on a round trip to Oxford pre-usage.

All of the above purchases clock in at just under £150 so come to think of it I may well be an expert in saving money. So there. You won't catch me wasting valuable money-spending-time flying to Berlin just for the sake of it though. I'd rather get to my destination as quickly as possible. If only I can remember to not pick up the ticket, or not to lose the ticket, or not to forget that I picked up the ticket, or....

Salmon run

I'm moving to London. Life as I know it won't be the same, at least not for the next 12 months. Having waxed lyrically about my love of all things Sheffield only a few months back, upping sticks and departing to the Big Smoke might be seen as one big fat contradiction. Some might say treacherous. Some already have. The political elite would be proud. Say one thing and mean something completely different, cause a massive fuss in one direction as a smokescreen for murky behaviour in another, look after number 1 above all. Guilty as accused.

This was clearly not in the script. For 17 years I've lived and prospered in Sheffield, almost, but not quite, half a lifetime. Being a quintessential northerner in spirit, a quintessential northern city was always going to be an easy fit and I've had very little inclination to relocate over the years, even during periods of unemployment and unsatisfactory employment. July 2015 however and somehow the stars managed to align themselves to provide a compelling argument for sampling a slice of London life. I'll be starting a 12 month secondment at our head office in September, and in my head I'm treating it as a well paid gap year. A temporary departure from normality. A chance to play in the biggest and most exciting playground in the world. A tiny fish in a huge pond. I'm like a salmon on a run to do a spot of spawning before heading back to more familiar shores to settle.

Things were very different when I first landed in Sheffield in August 1998 to take up residence at Hallam University's student halls. Tony Blair and his babes were in their pomp, Sheffield Wednesday played in the Premier League, no one was particularly phobic about Islam, record shops were aplenty, cameras had film in them, Madonna's artistic integrity was still intact, a tweet was just a sound birds make, a tablet a slab used for inscriptions, a selfie stick might've referred to something altogether more private and the concept of sexting, cankles, jeggings and chillax hadn't yet been portmanteau'd. Bluetooth, blu-ray, USB, micro-SIM, say what??

First impressions weren't great. Stepping out of the train station we were greeted by run down Hallam buildings to the front, Park Hill flats to the rear. Sophisticated urban landscapes all round. Sheffield had seemingly not moved at all since the 1960s.

Luckily this year's hoards of freshers can enjoy a vastly improved vista, although Park Hill flats will outlive us all. The past decades have seen huge redevelopment of the city centre and adjoining areas, mostly but not wholly for the better. Personally I would've kept the Yorkshire Grey rather than replace it with a funny looking multi storey car park. And I'm still most upset that I missed out on the mythical Hole in the road. Nevertheless, whatever the relative merits of modernisation, the things that makes Sheffield great remains.

Sheffield end edging closer, the countdown to London has officially begun. I eventually secured an optimal flat share in Globe Town, within touching distance of hipster Mecca, and I'll be living in hope that the mere proximity will stimulate my facial hair follicles to multiply like an aggressive virus. It's London, miracles do happen. I may well find myself on a collision course with London itself. Pretentious, expensive, ostentatious, obtrusive, these are a few of my non-favourite things. I am however planning to embrace the whole experience with open arms, and if all else fails I've located a chippy in Holborn that does chips and gravy. Nothing else matters.

Of course new beginnings call for new looks. I've ruthlessly discarded droves of clothing and footwear to create space and ease the removal load, round 2 to follow, but at the same time I've been busy purchasing. Yin and yang and all that.

 Purple skinny trousers from Topman, £9.60 in the sale. Great colour but may need to reserve these for standing up gatherings only to avoid groin splitting.

Teal tuxedo jacket (£21.60) and geometric patterned pocket square (£1.60) from Topman, again in the sale. White shirt and black jeans to complete the outfit, bob's your uncle.

Grey suede shoes with beige and blue strip along the top of the sole, £16 from Topman. Likely accompaniment to above sartorial styling.

Long sleeved light blue shirt and short sleeved lilac shirt, £4.60 in the Topman sale. Cheaper than Primark. Say no more.

12 months a Londoner beckons, time will tell if the schtick sticks or if Sheffield will out. I suspect the lure of cheap beer, steep hills and dee-dahs will prevail. And chips and gravy obviously. Chuck in some scraps and I'm sold.

Deo Adjuvante Labor Proficit

I love Sheffield. I've lived here since 1998. In August this year Sheffield overtook Säffle, Sweden as the place I've lived in the longest, and long may it continue.

The initial decision to move to Sheffield wasn't particularly deliberate. I had University offers from Sheffield Hallam, Lancaster and Edge Hill, Ormskirk so Sheffield really was the only option. No offence to the people of Lancaster and Ormskirk but come on, what was I thinking applying there??? 16 years on I've still not bothered to set foot in either place which speaks volumes. Regardless of circumstance, moving to Sheffield is easily the best decision I've ever made, followed by buying a copy of R.E.M.'s Out Of Time as a spotty 13 year old, resisting the temptation to migrate to London post-University and resigning from my job at Sheffield Contraception & Sexual Health Service without another job lined up.

There are a whole raft of reasons why Sheffield is a great city. Despite its industrial heritage, 61% of Sheffield's area is green space and apparently there are more than 2 million trees in the city, which gives Sheffield the highest ratio of trees to people of any city in Europe (thanks Wikipedia). We love trees. The Peak District is on our doorstep, living in the city centre doesn't cost a bomb, there are tons of cool stuff going on - @PeddlerMKT, @SharrowReels, @FestivalMind, @SensoriaFest to name a few, and there's a comforting sense of familarity, boosted by the fact that it's really easy to bump in to people you know. We love people bumping.

To illustrate the point, I've made a list of the 10 things I love the most about Sheffield. You can't go wrong with a list.

1. Sheffield people - It's not an understatement to say that Sheffielders are a friendly bunch. This was summarised to perfection by an older gentleman we got chatting to on a work's night out to Owlerton greyhound racing (chicken and chips in a basket!). Spotting the non-caucasian in the group, he proceeded to highlight that we're all cut from the same cloth by announcing "You're like me thee"

2. The Sheffield accent - There really is no better accent in my opinion. "Aye up duck", "Nah then", "Geeor", "Is tha mashin?", the list goes on

3. Sheffield Rules - Football as we know it was born in Sheffield. Nuff said

4. The Crucible - The home of snooker since 1977. Rumours of a future venue change for the World Championships better be just that, a mere rumour. After all, Ronnie loves it and he's god

5. Kelham Island - I've been fortunate enough to live within touching distance of Sheffield's real ale mile for the past 5 or so years. Award winning pubs galore, a mecca for beer tickers, attitude-free drinking and vegan pub grub. Can't go wrong

6. The Showroom - Support your local independent cinema people! If nothing else the popcorn's cheaper than at the mainstream multiplexes

7. Pulp - Different Class is definitely different class. A defining highlight of the Britpop era, it's one of my favourite albums of all time. I'm giving it a welcome spin as I type

8. Hendo's - Far superior to its more famous equivalent from Worcester. Better tasting, made in Sheffield, vegan (I'm not actually vegan by the way)

9. Cheap pints - It's not my pub of choice by a long stretch but the Brown Bear in the city centre pulls the cheapest pints going, outside of the dwindling world of working men's clubs. You can get a round in for less than a fiver, and by round I mean 3 pints. Up yours Wetherspoon's

10. Sheffield steel - In case you somehow weren't aware, stainless steel was invented in Sheffield by Harry Brearley in 1912. The world has been owing a debt of gratitude ever since

The Steel City moniker has ironically been steadily corroding since the 1980s. We all know who to blame. The steel industry has been drastically reduced but thankfully not completely eradicated. Sheffield made steel products are still synonymous with high quality so when I decided to buy a new chef's knife, Sheffield was again the only option.

I bought the knife from a Sheffield shopping institution: Atkinson's department store. Despite their best efforts to modernise, e.g. swanky new entrance, it undoubtedly feels as though time has stood still in the world of Atkinson's. You almost expect Mrs Slocombe to pop up behind the counter. Nevertheless they're still going strong and their cookware department is particularly useful. At £24.99 the chef's knife from Taylor's was a fiver cheaper than in the Sheffield Scene shop so smiles all round. Befitting as well, to buy a slice of Sheffield tradition and heritage from a shop that pre-dates stainless steel. And I am definitely unanimous in that!