Money Spending Expert

Fact: I'm one of life's spenders. People like me keep people like Martin Lewis extremely well fed with our need for constant reminders not to get royally screwed over, pay over the odds or mismanage our finances. Erratic spending is my stock-in-trade and no amount of brainwashing from the experts in money saving would stem the cash flow. In the same week that one of the Money Saving Expert bloggers decided to FLY from Sheffield to Essex via Berlin as it was £8 cheaper, I took it upon myself to make a similar journey way way way more expensive than it ought to have been. I'm a disaster, it's what I do.

So anyone looking to waste a few quid here's a quick recipe:
1. Book a train ticket in advance for £33 (1st class obvs)
2. Pick it up from the ticket machine
3. Lose said ticket, alternatively throw it in the bin
4. Forget you picked it up in the first place
5. Try and collect it again
6. Leave it til the day of travel before enquiring about the collection error
7. Find out that you indeed picked up the ticket 2 weeks previous and therefore a replacement can't be issued
8. Feel like a twat on the phone
9. Feel like a twat after hanging up
10. Grudgingly buy another ticket for £73.50 (Standard pleb class obvs)

New year, same old me
I've pretty much given up on acquiring common sense by now. Luckily I've also spent money on more enjoyable fare too. New year, same old me, new stylings. All of them in the sale. Fashion forward in last season's gear. Trendplagiariser. Sartorially delayed. The sale offers keep on coming too so there's no let up in the temptations.

Here are a few of the things I'll be sporting around town over the coming months:










Burgundy trench from Zara. The quintessential sale item, not even end of season, end of the season before. They'll be stocking the stores with spring/summer's version of trench coats soon, the fact that it's a timeless classic seems to have gone amiss somewhere. Fool them.



Block coloured jumper from Shore Leave, Urban Outfitters. Unusal and cheap=Win and win.



Black and grey stripe jumper from Only & Sons, Asos. I was expecting white stripes but hey ho. At least there's no hard button to button.

White and black printed short sleeve shirt from Asos. I love this shirt, in the most tenuous of fashions it reminds me of Sean Connery as 007 in Goldfinger. Shocking, positively shocking.



Pink gingham shirt from Asos. Ginghams do have soul.



Pink polo from Brave Soul, Asos. On Wednesdays we wear pink.



Block patterned t shirt from Zara. It's a bitch to iron so this one will get limited airtime.



Coloured collar and cuffs polo from Topman. The tag says skinny, the description did not *fumes*.



Annoyingly squeaky white trainers from Pull and Bear. Having re-discovered my likeness for the white trainer recently, no idea when and why it meant missing, this is the 3rd pair I've bought in quick succession. 2 of them squeak. Not impressed.



Pack of 4 excellently patterned socks from Urban Outfitters. The woman in the Westfield Stratford shop forgot to take the alarm tag off each pair and as a result the socks have been on a round trip to Oxford pre-usage.

All of the above purchases clock in at just under £150 so come to think of it I may well be an expert in saving money. So there. You won't catch me wasting valuable money-spending-time flying to Berlin just for the sake of it though. I'd rather get to my destination as quickly as possible. If only I can remember to not pick up the ticket, or not to lose the ticket, or not to forget that I picked up the ticket, or....